


get rid of all the excess pain

by Misprinting (misprinting)



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Community: space_swap, M/M, Multiverse, Post-Canon, Road Trips, rabbit massacre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 11:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6954664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misprinting/pseuds/Misprinting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ways to deal when you realise you might have made your boyfriend love you or made your boyfriend up: a) talk to him about it; b) talk to someone else about it; c) break up with him for his own good; d) don't argue when he breaks up with you for his own good; e) internalise everything until it all goes catastrophically wrong - it's only guilt, after all.</p><p>Or, Teddy Altman is too good for this world and his boyfriend is a fucking idiot about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	get rid of all the excess pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boywonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boywonder/gifts).



> Notes and warnings on fic content/context at the end of the fic.
> 
> Hey, boywonder! I just wanted to say thank you so much for your prompts and I hope I did some of the things you like and/or were looking for! This is super dumb and i'm sorry about how rushed it kind of is, i meant to write something short and simple but then this idea bit the hell out of me and uhhhh... this happened? but hopefully it is an enjoyable mess.I had a lot of fun writing this, so thank you, and I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> title from raleigh ritche's i can change.

Overall, Teddy figures things have been good.

After your boyfriend pulls your mother through reality and then it turns out she's a monster and you and your friends have to try to stop her from ripping up your reality, and then in the middle of that you break up with your boyfriend and get turned into a tentacle armchair, and when after that your boyfriend's sort-of brother comes back to life because this guy who kissed you once (and kind of persuaded you to break up with your boyfriend that one time) kissed this other guy (who had killed your boyfriend's brother in the first place), after all that, it's just kind of nice to dance. And it's a new year, and you still love your boyfriend madly.

Which, Teddy admits, is still kind of freaky some days, in the months of relative normal that come after. Sometimes. To himself, mostly, though Billy keeps telling him he wants to hear all the sometimes messed up stuff that goes through Teddy's head. It’s a mutual thing they’re trying.

But the point is, things are good. Billy's parents are great again, and don't know anything about all that time they spent in space _thank god_. Billy's doing good, he's happy, maybe, _properly_ , for the first time since Cassie. Even if he does have these little moments sometimes when he just... freaks out? Like he'll be doing a bit of totally normal magic (for a given value of normal, anyway) and suddenly look at his hands with this look in his eyes like he's fucking terrified.

But, mostly. Mostly things are good.

Teddy thought so, anyway.

***

So Teddy has this summer job, in among all the superhero madness they're doing at the weekends and at night now they have a team again. He gets up everyday at eleven and heads down to this tourist trap diner where he works long days serving overpriced burgers to shitty, angry people while shifted into whatever superhero or famous person they want to see him as. He gets a lot more Marilyn requests than he thinks is normal given it's 2014.

Also, he's well aware it was the shapeshifting thing that got him the job, but he still thinks he's a half-decent waiter and could be getting paid like it.

(The story of how he ended up with a job where he uses his shifting superhero powers every day isn't one he wants to think about, let alone tell. But it might have been a failed romantic gesture that resulted in over twenty thousand dollars of public damage. And maybe Iron Man paid off all the damages with a laugh, but Captain America decided it'd be a good idea to let him think about responsibility when the diner owner got really pissed and threatened to make him work his debt off. So, yeah. Maybe the shitty wage is mostly his own fault.)

Anyway. The point is, his job keeps him busy six days out of seven, and on that seventh day he likes to get a really good lie in and then hang out with Billy out of costume before they head out to meet up with their D&D group or whatever the plan for that day is.

So he thinks it's well within his rights to pull a pillow over his head and ignore the person knocking at his door at seven am on his one day off. Even if it's either of Billy's parents, he's been living with them since he was sixteen. If they don't like him enough for him to be dating their son by now, it's not going to happen.

The knocking keeps going, and then Billy says, "Ted, if you've got another dude in your bed, hide him now!" and opens the door. Teddy is very close to throwing the pillow at him.

Billy sits on the bed next to him, putting a hand on Teddy's shoulder.

"Hey, Teddy," he says, shaking Teddy gently. "Hey, wake up." Teddy feels him move and then feels Billy kiss his bare shoulder. And okay, that kind of wake up call Teddy can just about get behind.

He shifts and turns over, and immediately wishes he could go back to sleep.

Billy, grinning wide and _not right_ , says, "Hey, you'll never guess what..."

He doesn’t know what does it, but Teddy just knows something’s wrong.

Teddy doesn't want to speak at first. He's running through scenarios in his head, all the worst case scenarios of all the things Billy might have wished for this time that would put that trying-too-hard grin on his face. Passing a hand over his eyes to feign tiredness he's no longer feeling, Teddy's thoughts go through the worst of things; he wouldn't try to bring his mom back again, he knows he wouldn't, but there're so many other issues Billy might have accidentally or accidentally-on-purpose tapped into. Like Cassie. Or like the crush David's definitely over, but which Billy isn't over, not as much as he likes to pretend. Or how Tommy swings back and forth between wanting to be Billy's brother and needing a continent between them. Or maybe he wished up a newer, better boyfriend for himself. They're a lot older, surely one day...

Then again, Billy'd be just as likely to wake Teddy up and present him with a better boyfriend for _Teddy_. So. 

So anyway. This line of crazy isn't helpful.

Teddy opens his fingers and looks at Billy through them with one eye.

"What's up, babe?" He asks, pushing for lightness.

"So, uh..." Billy rests a hand on Teddy's chest, which would be a lot more calming if it felt _at all_ like he were doing it because he just can't keep his hands to himself and not out of the impulse to keep Teddy somewhat at a distance while he drops a bomb.

"I... So I woke up feeling weird today."

Teddy loves it when Billy bites his lip. He really does. Right now, though? Right now he wants to shake him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Billy's smile is definitely more nervous than thrilled, not like he'd been trying to play it when he came in. "You know how- No, um. Look. There's... There's no way to say this that isn't kind of horrible."

Teddy steels himself, pushing himself up so he's sitting with his back to the wall. Billy's hand drops from his chest as he does so, so Teddy picks it up in both of his own.

"It's okay, Billy," he says. "You can tell me."

Billy scrunches his eyes closed and looks like he might cry for just a moment before getting himself under control. His hand isn't gripping back.

"IthinkIwishedmypowersaway."

Teddy's brain does this whole white noise thing for a minute while he stares at his _idiot fucking boyfriend_ and wishes he hadn't deciphered that the first time so he could make Billy repeat it and maybe hear something else.

Billy squeezes Teddy's hand finally and, his voice all forced happiness, says, "I mean, I know it's kind of crazy, but it's not a bad thing, right? Who should even have the power I have? Had. I never asked for this. I wanted it to all go away, obviously. It happened. It's a good thing."

Teddy hasn't had trouble controlling what he shifts into since literally the first time it happened when he was thirteen and some dick called him queer for liking Star Trek. Which hadn't even been about the insult to _him_ , just about that guy having the balls to be a bag of dicks about a precious American institution.

Point is, Teddy normally doesn't have any problems keeping in his Skrull side. Right now, though, it's not really an issue he's having with keeping that under control so much as it is keeping himself from doing exactly what he wants to do, what every irrational part of him wants to do, which is something like: sprout his wings and fly away. Or sprout extra arms the better to shake Billy with. Or sprout extra-extra arms, for that matter, the better to grab hold of Billy tight and never let him go so he never does anything so _catastrophically stupid again_.

Very calmly, given all of everything, Teddy does none of those things. He keeps holding onto Billy’s hand with one of his, and with the other (making extra sure not to grow himself any more hands) he gently takes hold of Billy’s chin the better to look him in the eye.

“You did what?”

And okay, maybe that hadn’t been the most comforting thing he could have said. Maybe he’d been too focused on not doing the wrong-but-totally-understandable thing with his body and forgot to look after his mouth.

Billy’s face crumples.

He wrenches his hand back, covering his eyes, and says, “I’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry’msorry…” until Teddy thinks he’s never going to stop, like he’s trying to wish it, everything, back.

“God, Billy…” Teddy gently tucks a strand of Billy’s too long hair back and then gives up and does just go ahead and give himself that bit more height, muscle, and, crucially, bicep, in what he still privately thinks of as Hulking out. He does his best to thread his fingers through the shorter hair at the back of Billy’s head, hand big enough to really cradle him now, and pulls him in for that hug Billy clearly needs more than anything.

They end up flat on the bed, Teddy’s arms bracing Billy from as many sides as he can manage without not being humanoid anymore, because it feels like if he went completely with his impulse and did just grow enough limbs to properly wrap Billy up and tuck him away from the world forever, Billy’d let him.

“Shhh,” Teddy whispers. “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, we’ll fix this.”

***

Sitting cross-legged on Teddy’s bed, facing each other, Teddy holds on to Billy’s hands and tries to make him focus.

“C’mon, try,” he says again. He hasn’t kept count but it’s been enough times that he wants himself to shut up, so god knows part of him empathises with the glare Billy gives him.

“I _am_ trying!”

“I don’t wanna be that guy and say _try harder_ , babe, but come on,” Teddy says. “You’re going to re-invent what magic is one day. You can do this. You can do anything.”

“Not any more.” Billy says this and then firms his jaw like he’s about ready to say he’s done even trying. 

“Billy, don’t,” Teddy tries, but Billy cuts right across him.

“Teddy, stop it! It’s gone! I’m done!” Billy keeps his voice down, whispering furiously, but is crying again. He pulls a hand free to swipe at his cheeks. “I’m just- this isn’t going to do anything! I can wish on a fucking shooting star or flip a coin into a fountain for all the good thinking really hard about it is going to do for me right now!”

Teddy looks down, away, letting himself feel really scared for the first time since he looked at Billy’s grin and realised something wasn’t right. He only looks up when he’s got the beginnings of a plan B, because, everything else that’s happening, he can’t let Billy see him go to pieces. 

“Then I’m texting the team.”

“No!” Billy says, definitely not whispering. He looks immediately at the door, as if he’s expecting it to crash open. Whispering again, he says, “no,” again, softer, trying for something persuasive rather than desperate. It’s not convincing. “Teddy, you don’t have to do that. It’s okay. I’m okay with this.”

Teddy pulls away, getting up and moving towards the door. Sometimes, he really envies Tommy. Not that he’d leave Billy like this, not ever, but right now a quick trip around the world in the time it takes Billy to blink feels like it’d really clear his head.

He takes too long getting what he wants to say together, which might have been something along the lines of _who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend_ , because while he likes to think he’d be able to spot a Billy-impostor like Billy’d claimed to be able to do for him in mother’s dimension, this whole thing is really starting to test the limits of belief.

“Teddy,” Billy says. Whispering must be hard when you’re trying not to cry, and Billy’s given up trying. “Teddy, I know you said once you fell in love with a superhero but I was _really_ hoping that was more a pep-talk than something you meant in the serious, _I’d leave you if you weren’t one_ way.”

The noise that comes out of Teddy’s throat would, if he were the comics artist he wishes he were, be one he’d draw as a crack through the chest.

“Billy, you-” Teddy looks to the ceiling, wishing for divine intervention – not seriously, because that kind of thing brings Loki-sized trouble. Wishing for help, though. Definitely. 

He crosses back to Billy, touching his cheek with a big, green thumb. He lets himself shrink back, not wanting any kind of armour or uniform between them, just wanting to be the kid Billy first met and flirted horribly with, blushing the whole time. Watches his thumb change colour and size.

“I love you,” he tells Billy. “You’re such a fucking idiot.”

The relief on Billy’s face is only half as painful to see as the gratitude. “Oh, thank god,” Billy breathes. And all of a sudden he’s smiling again. “I thought I’d really fucked up.”

And the impulse to shake him is back.

Teddy, clenching his teeth to stop himself from saying anything monumentally stupid, just says, “I’m calling the team.”

Outside Teddy’s bedroom door Teddy suddenly hears the front door shut loudly and then people talking, getting louder as they come closer, one definitely Billy’s mom and the other someone very out of breath but otherwise very like-

“Is that…?” Teddy asks, looking at Billy but already pulling the door open.

Tommy’s there, leaning half-over the back of the couch and sounding like he’s having an asthma attack. His face is beat red, too; he looks a mess, none of the supernatural perfect hair or no-sweat powers he usually has.

Which.

No.

“Tommy?” Billy asks from behind Teddy. “Where did you even run from?”

Teddy reaches for Billy out of instinct, holding on to his shoulder. Mostly it’s for Billy’s support. Some of it’s for his own. Some of it, admittedly, is for if he needs to pull Billy behind himself to protect him from fratricide.

Because maybe there’s a part of Teddy that had been waiting for this to get worse. And if what he’s just put together is right, it has.

“From… across… town.” Tommy gasps between each breath, and Teddy seriously hopes Billy still has an inhaler somewhere. “I’m… _shit_.”

Billy’s mom, one step ahead as usual, comes back into the room (though honestly Teddy’d not even noticed her leave, this is all so much), and puts a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, here you go,” she tells him, tilting his head up and pressing an inhaler to Tommy’s mouth. “Deep breath.”

Billy turns to Teddy, eyes wide and mouth open. He looks back at Tommy, and then says, “Teddy…” He reaches up and grabs on to Teddy’s hand on his shoulder. “Teddy. He- his powers.”

Tommy’s breathing evens out slowly as Billy’s mom rubs circles on his back and talks him through the inhale-exhale of normal breathing.

Billy is shaking through his whole body.

“Oh god,” he says, “Oh god. Oh god. Teddy. I’ve- _fuck_. Oh _god, Teddy,_ ” and then, “ _I want Tommy’s power’s back. I want Tommy’s power’s back. I want Tommy’s powers back._ ”

Tommy looks at him, not surprised at all. Just hardened. It’s nothing like how someone looks when they wish you were dead; they’ve all seen that look enough to recognise it. It’s how you look at someone when you wish you’d never even met them, and you’re closing yourself off from them so when they fuck up it never gets in the way of you living your life again.

“ _I wish I had my powers back so I could give Tommy his powers back._ Fuck. Please. _Please._ ”

***

Normally when one of them does something that means going to the Avengers, they meet up and strategize first. A bit it’s because of the healthy authority issues they’ve all got after the mother incident, not that they didn’t have enough of them between them to be getting on with. Partly it’s so the rest of them can figure out how to minimise the way America exudes _done with all of you_ whenever she comes within a hundred feet of anyone who’s ever called themselves one of Earth’s Mightiest.

This time, Teddy takes Tommy and Billy straight to the mansion and texts the others to meet them there.

Scarlet Witch is already waiting for them at the gates. She just sort of pushes people out of her way by walking into their space, Teddy finds, but still isn’t used to feeling the effect of it as she focuses her whole being on Billy and Tommy. He watches with more distance between them than he remembers putting there as she takes hold of Billy and Tommy’s hands, both of theirs each in one of hers, and looks at Billy for a long moment before sighing and saying, “oh, Billy.”

And Teddy knows right then there’s nothing she can do to help.

From the look on his face and the way he pulls his hands out of Scarlet Witch’s grip, moving like only the memory of his asthma attack is keeping him from trying to run away, Tommy knows right then too.

***

These are the facts as Billy tells them: nothing happened. He never said any spell, never wished really hard, never tried anything. Not consciously. He’d just had this dream. 

He’d had this stupid dream, and in it Teddy had wanted to break up again and dream!Billy had just wanted to do anything to stop that happening, so he guesses, maybe, dream!Billy might have said _I wish I didn’t have powers_ until he woke up. And then. Then he woke up, and felt weird. 

He felt dull. Quiet. His brain was going too quickly, like he’d drunk way too much coffee but then like he’d smoked weed on top of that so he wasn’t really feeling it? (Not that he’d know what that’s like, Cap). Like maybe his brain didn’t have to think about magic anymore, all of a sudden, but at the same time magic was how he used to get to taste the world. And he’d just had this feeling. 

So the first thing he did was look for his costume, since he made it with his magic. It was gone. Then he’d tried to open the door with his powers. Nothing. 

He’d had no idea about Tommy, no idea that could even happen. No idea their powers were that tied together. He’s such a fucking idiot and if he could take it back he could but, Tommy, he’ll fix it. He’s so fucking sorry and he’ll fix it.

***

These are the facts as Tommy tells them: “I’m going to fucking kill you, Billy.”

***

“Billy, you know I say this with love,” Kate starts to say. Teddy, one arm around a hunched-over Billy, shakes his head at her, and thankfully she reconsiders. Instead of whatever well-meaning joke she was about to tell, she squeezes Billy’s shoulder and says softly, “it’s okay, we’ve all fucked up worse.”

Billy laughs, short and sharp. Teddy hopes not because it’s kind of untrue. There’s only so much you can fuck up when you’re a normal human with no powers like Kate. Though, admittedly, if she did have a secret superpower, it’d probably be getting into trouble.

“Thanks, Kate,” Billy says after a pause, sounding so defeated it breaks Teddy’s heart. “It’s okay, though. You should probably go make sure Tommy’s okay. I think you’re the only one of us he actually admits to liking.”

Kate snorts. “He admits he wants to fuck me. That’s not quite the same.”

Billy pulls a face that Kate mirrors, and for a moment there Billy’s smile is actually kind of genuine.

“So what are we doing?” David asks, stepping up from the wall he’s been doing his best to fade into, presumably to avoid getting in the way of the family drama. “Are we letting the real Avengers figure this out?”

America snorts.

Kate, smiling, says, “America makes an eloquent point. When have we ever let the Avengers deal with our messes? They normally manage to somehow fuck it up anyway.”

“In their defence,” Teddy says, “It’s not normally their fault.”

Snorting again, America says, “your fanboy is showing.” Teddy raises an eyebrow. 

“Your authority issues are showing,” he tells her.

“We should let the Avengers deal with it,” Billy says suddenly. He’s back to being hunched over and talking to his knees rather than them. Teddy holds on to him tighter. “That’s their job. They’ve seen more shit than us. I don’t want any-”

“Yeah, the pity party’s really gunna help,” America interjects.

Billy lifts his head to glare at her. “This is _my faul_ -”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.” America glares right back. “I said: you should let us help.” She stares him down and then shrugs one shoulder. “Scratch that,” she adds. “You’re _gunna_ let us help.”

“The hell I-”

“Billy.” This time Kate steps in, earning a startled look from Billy and from Teddy, too; it’s been a long time since they’ve heard Kate use that particular tone of voice. A long time, like, since Cassie. A long time like since the last time she led them into battle.

“Do the Avengers have a plan?” she asks. She’s tapping a finger against her phone screen and clearly thinking hard.

Billy, after glancing at Teddy, says, “Not yet?”

“No, course they don’t.” Kate smiles. “Because you’re right, they know a lot. But they don’t know _everything_ , and we had a pretty informative road trip not that long ago.”

“Kate-” Teddy starts, just as David says, “I wondered if I were going to have to be the one to bring that up.”

“Bring _what_ up?”

“Billy, remind me, why can’t the Scarlet Witch fix this?” Kate asks. Part of Teddy wants to tell her she’s enjoying this too much, but it’s a very small part.

“Because she didn’t cast the spell.”

“Right,” Kate says. Grinning. “Who cast the spell, Billy?”

“I did?” Billy’s watching her now like she’s a maniacal laugh and a half away from insane. Now Teddy thinks about it, this isn’t unlike a supervillain monologue, and Kate would look great in leather and evil.

“Mhmm,” Kate agrees. “Funny how difficult it would be to find another you if we didn’t have a ticket to the multiverse on the team,” she says, gesturing to the left of her.

To where America’s standing, arms folded with one foot against the wall looking like she’s half-way done with everything as is her usual resting face. Except, that is, for the growing smile.

“But it- it has to be me,” Billy says. “There’s a difference between me and all the other mes. Sometimes there’s _every_ difference between me and a given universe’s me.”

Kate’s smile falters. “You don’t think their magic would work?”

Billy shakes his head, but Teddy’s watching David. Because while everyone else’s faces had fallen, David’s was still just as calm as ever.

“Just any Billy won’t work,” David agrees. “But we’ve been to a universe with not-just-any Billy.” He looks America’s way. “Think you can get us back to the demiurge ‘verse?”

America narrows her eyes and chews her lip, considering. “On the first kick? Probably not.”

“But eventually…” Kate adds, smile coming back.

“Yeah, eventually.” America pushes herself off the wall and rolls her shoulders. She’s back to that growing smile, too.

Kate claps her hands, turning to Billy. Billy who still looks completely dazed.

“See?” she asks. Practically vibrating, “I’ll go get Tommy,” Kate says, but is beaten to the door by David.

“No, I’ll get him.” Teddy could swear he’s nearly smirking. “You need to get us our ride.”

“What?”

David’s already gone, so Kate turns her frown to America. 

Who gestures to Kate’s phone.

“Yeah, our ride,” she says. “I can’t promise not to kick us through into deep space this time. We need a ride, Princess.”

Kate stares at her.

Then she gets it.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she says. “Why don’t we just invite Loki along with us while we’re at it?”

But she’s already thumbing through her contacts, looking, presumably, for the ex with the spaceship. Hopefully, Teddy thinks, not actually for Loki.

Billy turns to look at Teddy in a way that just says _what the fuck?_ Teddy, seconding that emotion, if with a bit more emotional distance than Billy’s raw everything’s letting him have right now, smiles to say _it’s going to be okay._

Billy kisses him. 

It definitely isn’t _I believe you_ , but that doesn’t mean it’s not exactly what they both need in right that moment.

***

They get their ride.

Kate puts her foot down and insists they all go home long enough to pack at least one change of clothes and a toothbrush before getting on Noh-Varr’s ship again for who knows how long. So Teddy flies Billy back home.

They’re careful to be there while Billy’s parents are out at work, but Teddy thinks that actually just makes it harder on Billy, who then has to write a note that explains some of what’s happened and what they’re off to try to do without saying enough for the Avengers to be able to follow them or for Billy’s parents to freak out too badly.

They make good use of the office shredder.

But Billy’s determined the whole way through that, mouth set and eyes hard. If Teddy were to take a guess, he’d bet he’s thinking about Tommy. It’s when it comes to packing that he starts to look hopeless.

“I know this sounds super dumb,” Billy says, staring at his open wardrobe. “But… I don’t know what to wear.”

“What d’you- Oh.” Teddy, sitting on the edge of Billy’s bed, already packed, looks at the wardrobe full of jeans and geeky t-shirts and hoodies. “Your costume.”

Billy idly touches a barely visible piece of red material. “I guess I could wear my old one? Last time I put those pants on they came up above my ankles. Not exactly superhero-y.”

Teddy smiles at the memory. “Hey,” he says, reaching over to take hold of Billy’s wrist. For the look he gets – surprised, soft, not filled with guilt for the first time all day – Teddy tries for some positive reinforcement and kisses Billy’s open palm. Billy blinks down at him before smiling softly, like he can’t stop himself. Working on the reward theme, Teddy kisses the inside of his wrist next. 

“You know I’ll miss the stars,” he says, pulling Billy to stand between his legs so he can hold onto Billy’s hip, rubbing his thumb where his favourite constellation had always been on Billy’s suit. Billy, wonderfully, blushes.

“And,” he adds, wishing he could reach up to kiss behind Billy’s ear without jostling their position too much, but settling for kissing Billy’s palm again. “You know how I loved your ear-wings,” he says, holding on to Billy’s hand gently and to his hip firmly enough to press the heat of his palm over Billy’s own body heat. 

Billy, smiling softly down at him, brings his free arm up to rest on Teddy’s shoulder, loosely curled around the back of his neck. “Yeah?” he asks, eyes a little bright.

“Yeah,” Teddy agrees. “But whatever you wear,” he tells him, kissing the inside wrist again and then just below the crease of Billy’s elbow, looking up at Billy with his lips still hovering over his skin. “You’re always superhero-y.”

Billy keeps a straight face for exactly five seconds; Teddy counts. His nose crinkles first, then his eyes, and then he’s laughing.

Teddy, not giving up his hold on Billy’s wrist or his hip, grins to himself. Mission accomplished.

“That was the worst,” Billy tells him. “I love you.”

Teddy thinks: positive reinforcement. And even though Billy’s still laughing and they still have to pack so they can go save this idiot (and his brother) from himself, Teddy pulls Billy down into a laugh-into-each-other kiss before tumbling Billy down onto the bed underneath him and working as hard as he can towards making Billy forget himself for just as long as he can.

***

Noh-Varr welcomes them back on his ship with open arms, which are stared down by Kate until he meekly lowers them again and just says, “I’ll be up front,” before beating a hasty retreat.

“Adorable,” America deadpans under her breath, yearning a playful whack on the shoulder from Kate.

Teddy hangs back as the others get on board, noticing Tommy and Billy do the same, and soon they’re stood together, Teddy between Billy and his twin who might yet murder him. Teddy’s genuinely not sure, and isn’t taking any chances.

Which is why he wishes he’d been watching Billy closer than Tommy and could have stopped him from saying, “Tommy, I’m-”

But Tommy, not looking at Billy, cuts him off not to shout or accuse him, but to say, “Whatever, Billy. Shit happens. You ever explode anyone?”

Billy mutely shakes his head.

“I have,” Tommy says. Lightly. “I get it. It was an accident.”

Billy reaches out, obviously opening his mouth to say something, but Tommy’s already moving towards the ship.

He pauses at the door.

“Just…” Tommy waves a hand. “I get it, but I’m pissed, y’know? Gimme some room.”

To Tommy’s back, Billy says, “I can do that.”

Teddy’s glad Billy’s so certain, because to him getting on a spaceship with someone seems like exactly the worst thing to do when you’re trying to avoid them. Call him crazy.

He bites his tongue, though, and ducks in to kiss Billy’s temple, leading the way.

***

At first, their strategy is: America thinks a bit about a universe that might be the demiurge one. She kicks through a star. Gets back on board, and they fly through to see what’s on the other side.

“As long as we don’t end up in the one with the rabbits,” Kate says.

Everyone, even Noh-Varr, turns to glare at her when they emerge from America’s first star.

***

Later, while they’re all cleaning mutant rabbit viscera from their hair, Kate says, “okay, I deserved that.”

“The rest of us didn’t,” Billy says, flicking bits of… red, meaty stuff from the soles of his shoes out of the ship’s open door. He’s immediately the focus of everyone’s incredulous looks. He rolls his eyes. “Well, okay, _I_ did.”

“Damn right,” Tommy says, with what might be a suppressed laugh. Billy, startled enough to nearly drop the cool and terrifying space gun Noh’Varr had lent him, quickly looks away, hiding his smile.

“Right,” Kate says, standing by leaning heavily on her bow. Which wouldn’t be like her, to mistreat her bow like that, if it weren’t Noh-Varr’s. “Everyone gets a shower,” she says, “and then I say we put at least another two universes between us and ours, just in case the Avengers somehow put multiverse trackers on us or something.”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” Noh-Varr says. Kate’s look is withering.

***

So it’s been a full day of being a supportive boyfriend and a competent almost-adult. And mercilessly killing mutant rabbits. God, he hadn’t missed those nightmares.

He’s lying in bed, Billy, shattered, passed out beside him, when he thinks, properly, about that dream that had caused all of this.

He immediately feels sick.

And he knew before, obviously, that they still had some stuff to work through. But he doesn’t know how he’d got it so wrong, thought they were so good, when the truth was Billy was still running himself round in circles, terrified.

He’ll talk to Billy, they’ll figure all of this out, just as soon as this is fixed. He promises himself. He promises Billy.

 _Fuck that,_ he thinks. _Tommy. I promise Tommy._

***

Their days shape up like a highlights reel of the three-months they spent on this ship the first time, cut together differently and in a different order, but passing through all the same ‘verses.

America’s kicks quickly get more violent.

***

For someone working at normal speed and living on a space ship with the person they most want to avoid, Tommy does a pretty good job of keeping out of Billy’s way over the next week whenever they’re not actively dealing with the inhabitants of whatever ‘verse they’re currently in.

(Who, considering the way things ended the last time, Teddy guesses he should have expected to alternate between murderous and terrified. He and America get to punch a lot of idiots for a second time. It’s not unsatisfying.)

So Tommy and Billy mostly keep out of each other’s way. Actually, Tommy mostly keeps out of everyone’s way, though he seems to have bonded with Noh-Varr from a lot of hours spent holed up in the cockpit with him.

But that’s why it comes as a surprise when Teddy hears Tommy and Billy talking. If raised voices and long awkward pauses usually indicated talking, rather than arguing. He’d been heading towards his and Billy’s room to show him a cool souvenir he picked up in that ‘verse where they were all roughly the same but that-verse’s Teddy liked to shift into a dragon to fight bad guys instead of Hulkling. (That guy was such a dick but Teddy’s not going to pretend he’s not pissed he didn’t think of it first.)

He stops outside the door, deliberating. To burst in or to listen in?

“You have so many fucking issues, Billy, and all I’ve ever asked of you is for you to not get them all over me,” Tommy is saying, his tone somewhere between outraged and reasonable, the first caged in by the second. It’s still weird, hearing Tommy talk in full, normally-paced sentences. 

“Like,” Tommy continues. “You ever think about the fact that you’re also made of wish fulfilment? You’re literally tearing yourself in half over the exact same thing that made us. You ever think, hey, my boyfriend has this horrible looming thing to worry about that _I also have experience with_.”

“Look, Tommy,” Billy says, voice quiet but not exactly calm. Teddy is briefly very happy neither of them has powers for this conversation. Sure, they could still do plenty of damage to each other, but at least they can’t explode each other. “It’s not the same,” Billy says. “It’s not like we were created so someone could fuck us; we were made because Wanda wanted kids. If I created Tommy or didn’t but still made him love me, that’s not like what Wanda did.”

“Oh my god, you don’t fucking get it.” From behind the door there’s a sound like something being dropped or shoved. “He knows all that. He chose you anyway.”

“I know that now!” Billy says. “I know that now because he’s still here and he still says he loves me, but until I lost my powers I just kept thinking ‘what if I made him choose me?’”

“Fuck that,” Tommy says. “Fuck all of that. Why, instead of wishing everything away for both of us didn’t you just sit down and think, ‘y’know, maybe I should attempt to empathise with him instead of out-guilt everyone in the universe other than maybe _Loki_ so I don’t have to ever actually deal with the issue?’ It would have saved us both a lot of shit. You’re right, you know. You shouldn’t have that kind of power.”

Teddy steps back as the door slams its way open, Tommy sparing him a look that says exactly what he thinks of Teddy listening in as he walks away.

Teddy never thought he’d miss the way Tommy used to leave like a fucking bullet train, but the way he does now, carefully at a measured pace with his shoulders hunched and Billy’s old inhaler tucked in the back pocket of his pants, is just sad.

Pulling Billy into a hug a few moments later, Billy says, “I’m pissed with him, he’s such a fucking dick like this. But I’m so sorry for him, too.”

“Yeah, me too,” Teddy agrees.

***

The next day they land in the ‘verse with evil Billy. The one with the high vampire-esque collar and soul patch. As the person who loves Billy the most in all the ‘verses, Teddy would still be the first to say ‘let’s push this guy out of the airlock’ if circumstances ever aligned.

Tommy punches evil!Billy in the face, twice, before evil!Billy incapacitates him. Waking up with a concussion after the fight’s done, unable to walk in a straight line, Tommy still grins and tells them it was worth it.

Then he looks at their Billy and says, “you’re not the worst, I guess,” which, while it isn’t a compliment or an apology, is a step in the right direction.

And it makes Billy beam, so. Teddy figures the thing yesterday is at least forgotten if not forgiven.

***

A trip to the mayfly universe is, for America, the last straw.

While Tommy, who had just shot mayfly!Kate in the face and ended up splatted with green fly gunk, is throwing up in the corner with David standing over him, rubbing his back, America kicks the side of the ship.

“Hey!” Noh-Varr says, only to be completely ignored.

“Look on the bright side,” Kate tells her. “We’ve been to the worst two ‘verses in existence, now.”

“You, uh,” Teddy says, pulling insect wing away as he rubs the back of his neck. “You know how to get us back to _our_ universe, right?”

America glares at him.

“Course I do, numb nuts,” she says. Teddy raises an eyebrow at the insult because wow, middle school much? But lets it slide after the day they’ve had. “Travelling with so many of you from there, every time I kick through I have to pull back from kicking through to that one. It’s what’s making getting through to the demiurge ‘verse so fucking impossible.”

Kate, who had been cleaning her bow, sits down heavily on the ground. Teddy and Billy join her, flanking her on either side. She leans her head on Teddy’s shoulder and squeezes back when Billy takes her hand.

“Look,” America half says, half growls. “I’m trying, but getting us all through to that one universe in a literally infinite number is fucking hard, okay. We ran for three months last time and we passed through a lot of worlds, and that time we had a guide. And I’m not the one with the eidetic memory.”

Teddy and Billy both look at her for a moment and then point to David in sync.

He shakes his head from over Tommy’s, who is looking very green still but is no longer actively throwing up.

“I’ve thought about it,” David says, which, yeah, of course. “But we’d need a mind-reader to pull my memory of where we were out of my head and push it into America’s. What we do need is some combination of eidetic memory, mind-reader and ability to pass through the multiverse.”

“Ugh.” Teddy knocks his head back against the ship in frustration. “You mean we need Loki? I knew this was going to come to Loki.”

There’s a resounding clang as America kicks the ship again, much harder this time. Noh-Varr winces.

“Loki can go fuck himself,” she says, before turning and storming away from them all.

Kate sighs, looking after America sadly.

“She tried to get in touch with Loki in the first place,” Kate tells them. “No show.”

“Oh,” Teddy says. “Oops?”

But half an hour later, give or take, – something about this ‘verse makes their clocks all go crazy; David probably knows what’s going on but it all goes over the shifter’s head – America comes back towards them looking determined. Looking, honestly, terrifying.

Next to him, a despondent Kate lifts her head and is suddenly grinning.

Pointing at Billy, America says, “be ready,” and then kicks her way through the multiverse.

They’re all silent as they file back on board the ship and Noh-Varr slowly takes them through, and out.

Teddy looks to the stars and sees Billy.

“Oh my god!”

Noh-Varr sets them down just past America’s star and right in front of the strange creatures who only seem to know how to tell Billy what he is and be fucking adorable. America, lingering over shutting gap between universes for a moment longer than usual, waits until they’re all past before throwing up a quick, irreverent salute.

Teddy, watching, smiles when she catches up to him. “A friend?” he asks.

She gives him a side-on look. “Not sure I’d go that far.”

Looking ahead, the creatures are just as Teddy remembers them. Little blue things with large heads and eyes and short limbs. They’re exactly as he remembers them, except for the way they react to Billy.

They’ve formed a semi-circle, clearing a wide space all around him, and are staring. Gone is the repetitive “demiurge, demiurge, demiurge.” They just stare, cartoonish mouths open wide.

“Uhhhh,” Billy says. “Did we know what the plan was when we got this far?”

America snorts.

“Right, course not.”

Billy bends down in front of the closest creature and slowly reaches out his hand.

“Hey,” he says. “Remember me?”

“Are these guys friendly?” Tommy asks, looking warily between them and the star-scape of Billy in the sky. “Also,” he says, “how come none of you looked at that and thought, hey, that could be of Tommy? You’re all the worst.”

The creature Billy’s holding his hand out to looks between Billy, Tommy, and the stars, and though Teddy can’t figure out what it is about the look that makes him think so, he’s sure the creature is frowning.

Not confused frowning, though. This creature seems pissed.

“Billy-” Teddy starts to say, thinking he’s just going to get his currently powerless boyfriend behind him for a moment, when the creature rolls its eyes, as if to say he’s seen it all before, and takes Billy’s hand.

Then he’s tugging him off down the road.

“Uhhhh…”

Kate shrugs, and says, “follow them?”

So they do. 

Teddy catches up to Billy, taking his other hand because Billy looks like he needs that, and saying, “hey, is it just me or are you getting Return of the Jedi vibes?”

Billy laughs. “As long as no Stormtroopers turn up to murder our new friends I think we might be okay,” he says, and laughs again when Teddy swats at him for jinxing them.

***

They follow the creature leading Billy by the hand for maybe an hour before they’re brought, suddenly, to a payphone standing in the middle of the grassland.

America’s “what the fuck” sums up all of their reactions.

The creature stops, dropping Billy’s hand, and points at the phone. Billy, tentatively, begins to walk towards it, but Tommy, rolling his eyes and telling them all, “this is so lame,” walks ahead of him, picking up the phone.

“Hello?” He says. “Billy, if that’s really you in the stars, get the hell down here. Now. Or I’ll punch you again.”

“What did you do to piss him off this time?” Billy asks himself. As in, Billy turns to himself and asks.

Because there are now two Billys.

Two Billys, standing there, right in front of Teddy. One with the exact expression Teddy’s feeling, the other looking like a calm, suave, confident guy who owns the universe, because, Teddy supposes, he does.

This new Billy, while roughly the same height as Teddy’s Billy, is a little more filled out at the shoulders and waist and has a little bit of silver at his temples, though he doesn’t otherwise look more than a decade older than Teddy’s Billy.

Teddy wants to go to his Billy, offer him support, but instead he finds himself fading into the background in a way that feels familiar but that takes him a moment to place.

It’s like being around the Scarlet Witch.

“You’re drooling,” Kate tells him, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

Teddy ignores her because she shouldn’t feel the need to state the overwhelmingly obvious.

The Demiurge, as Teddy quickly decides to think of him, turns to Tommy and says, “Ah. I see the problem.” Turning back to Billy, he says, “You want your power back.”

Billy, eyes wide, takes a moment, but manages finally to shake his head.

“No,” he says, then clears his throat. “I want you to give Tommy his powers back.”

“You know by now that it doesn’t work like that.”

“You’re the demiurge,” Billy says, incredulously. “You re-write what magic is. It can work like that if you want it to.”

“Yes, I do,” the Demiurge says. “And when it’s your turn to re-write magic you can change the rules if you want.” He looks between Billy and Tommy and then, curiously, flicks his eyes for the first and only time to Teddy. The look is gone so quickly Teddy has no idea how to interpret it or how to feel, but he must be feeling something because Kate reaches out to take his hand. “But you won’t,” the Demiurge continues. “I’d bet the multiverse on it.”

“So you’re saying either both of us have powers or neither of us does,” Tommy says, looking unsurprised but pissed off. He glances around at them all, eyes landing on David for a second. Teddy suddenly thinks, about five weeks too late, _shit, David_ and feels terrible for being so preoccupied with his boyfriend that he’d forgotten to ask his friend who lost his powers how he was doing, emotionally, being on a quest to get someone else’s powers back but not his own.

“Both or neither,” the Demiurge agrees.

Billy ducks his head, and right now Teddy would kill to go back to the night before or any night before that while they lay together in bed and didn’t talk about what they’re doing on this trip or why. Because Teddy wants to believe he understands Billy, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t understand why he could have wished his power away. And he still doesn’t know what Billy wants.

Billy looks up at Teddy, but asks the Demiurge, “did I make him love me?”

Teddy opens his mouth to say ‘of course you didn’t, you idiot, your magic’s gone and I’m still here,’ but the Demiurge, looking bored in a studied way, shrugs and says, “in some universes you did.”

Billy turns back to look at him, horrified. The Demiurge smiles kindly at him.

“But in others you didn’t. In some, he loves you anyway. And in some, he hates you, whether you did or didn’t. In others, the guilt drives you insane and in some drives you to terrible choices. In many other universes, though, the two of you never meet.”

“I don’t care about other universes,” Billy tells him, looking exhausted and guilty, but somehow, in that moment and at least to Teddy, still so strong. “I don’t give a flying fuck about other Billys or other Teddys. Just give me a straight answer about this me and this Teddy.”

The Demiurge tilts his head.

“That was a straight answer. Everything is choice.” The Demiurge gestures between Tommy and Billy, still smiling kindly. “So choose.”

Billy closes his eyes, breathes in and out once, then looks at Tommy. Tommy, who suddenly looks uncertain, but who says, “I won’t fight you over it. If you can’t live with it, I want a brother more than I want to run.”

“Billy,” Teddy hears himself say, and is suddenly stepping between Billy and the Demiurge and reaching up to cradle Billy’s face in both his hands. He swallows, and makes his choice. “I love you, with or without your powers, today and when you’re a guy who puts his own face in the stars and has weird blue minions. I don’t care what makes me love you. I couldn’t give less of a shit.” Pausing, Teddy presses a quick, too quick kiss to Billy’s mouth and then to his nose because Billy hates when he does that but Teddy loves how it makes Billy blush and wrinkle his nose.

Billy breathes in, leaning in towards Teddy until Teddy lets him and brings him into a longer kiss. Pulling away, Billy says, “yeah, me too. That’s what’s so scary.”

Teddy laughs. Kisses Billy again, and then nods to him and steps away. He nods at Tommy, too, who rolls his eyes at him but is hiding a smile, and though Teddy avoids meeting the Demiurge’s eyes he feels like he’s getting a smile or some approval from that direction, too.

“Yes?” the Demiurge asks.

And Billy says, “yes. Both of us.”

***

“Oh thank god you’re back finally.”

Billy, who Teddy has pressed against their spaceship bedroom door exactly where he wants him, stops kissing Teddy’s neck.

“Ugh ew Teddy put that down,” Tommy says. “You’re all so slow again and I’d like to get this over with so we can go back to normal as quickly as possible. You know how long a day of Billy being guilty feels to me? A long fucking time.”

Teddy reluctantly lets Billy pull away, turning against the door himself to calm down before turning to leave.

“No, Teddy,” Tommy says, slower than he’s said anything since the Demiurge did his thing. “Stay.”

Tommy, who had disappeared to run back to the ship as soon as he and Billy had been given their powers back, is back in the costume he hasn’t worn in over a month and is sitting the wrong way on the one chair in their room.

“Tommy, I’m so sorry.”

Billy sits on the edge of their bed, hands clasped and held still between his legs. Teddy guesses it’s going to take him a little while to trust his magic now he has full control of it again.

Tommy nods and says, “I know.” Then adds, “it’s not fine, but I was too harsh on you. Your thing,” he gestures between them. “That whole thing was messed up and whatever, you’re just going to have to get over it, but I get it. If I were dating Teddy I wouldn’t know what to do with someone so understanding and good, either.”

The chair spins and suddenly Tommy is at the door.

“Also, you know, you are still just wish fulfilment, you know? I meant that. Maybe you could try acting more like it.”

And then he’s gone.

Billy flops back on the bed and says to the ceiling, as if to convince it, “it _is_ good to have him back.”

Teddy flops down on his stomach next to him, too tempted by the sliver of skin exposed by Billy’s t-shirt not to push it up enough that he can rest his palm on Billy’s waist and his fingers around his hip. Leant up on one elbow, Teddy looks down at Billy.

“You don’t need to act more like it.”

Billy smiles up at him, saying, “you know, I’ve been thinking about what the other me said.”

“Hmm?”

“I didn’t make you up,” Billy says, “Because there are universes when we never meet.”

“That’s true,” Teddy says, smiling.

“And,” Billy adds, “there are universes where you love me anyway, whether I made you or not, so… If you choose…”

“Which I do,” Teddy interjects, leaning down to kiss Billy soundly.

“Mmm,” Billy agrees, eyes unfocused and cheeks flushed as Teddy pulls away. “I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?”

Teddy kisses him again. Presses “yes” and “and no” to his mouth.

Billy touches Teddy’s hair, then traces his fingertips over Teddy’s forehead, over the curve of his ear and across his closed eyelids, down his nose. To his mouth.

“I choose, too.”

Eyes closed, Billy’s fingers at his lips, Teddy smiles and says, “that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: some violence, but more graphic depictions of the aftermath of violence, and basically if you hate the idea of dead bunnies or mayflies (thank the canon for both) then be cautious. also grappling with a canon issue which comes close to consent issues in a big way and which might not be dealt with in the absolute best way by those involved? also also, emetophobes beware. finally: brief here-and-there mentions of canon character death.
> 
> quick note on canon: I’m really shitty at comics. I just reread all the YA ones for this so I shouldn’t have fucked up too badly there, but other than that assume I don’t know it’s happened. Like, is Scarlet Witch an Avenger after Children’s Crusade? Are the Avengers even together when this is all supposed to be happening? Don’t know; don’t care. Also haven’t caught up with the new run Teddy and Billy are in yet, so this is up to date up to YA vol. 2 and not beyond.
> 
> thanks for reading, guys :)


End file.
